XFL - NOT MUCH TO CHEER(LEAD) ABOUT.
February 9, 2001
by Bill Hogan

I watched the first quarter of the first XFL game on NBC last weekend. I was curious. I'm not curious anymore. Nor am I interested. Nothing personal, Vince, it's just not for me.

If I want to see beautiful, half naked women, I'll watch an old re-run of Baywatch, or a new episode of Temptation Island. If I want to see bad football, I'll…. on second thought, I never want to watch bad football. Tommy Maddox? Casey Weldon? Charles Puleri? NFL washouts. Correction, Puleri is an Arena League washout - doh!

I like the way the teams determine the "coin toss". A player from each team lines up and the two fight for possession of a football placed 20 yards away. The NFL should look into this method - especially to determine who gets the ball first in overtime!

I like that the players can put any "name" they want on the back of their jersey. One exception: who is the Las Vegas player known as 'He Hate Me'? Who hates him? I don't hate him. I don't even know who he is. I will probably never know who he is, or ever have cause to hate him. Is he referring to the other team? I'd have to assume that they don't know him either.

You know what I'd put on the back of my jersey? I'd sell the space to the highest bidder. You know, put a sponsor's message on my back. "Do the Dew" or "Eat your Wheaties". Heck at 4,500 bucks a game, I could use the extra income. I'm sure nobody's paying "He Hate Me" to walk around with that on his back.

If you are a big WWF fan, you will probably like the XFL. If you're a football fan, you will probably like the XFL Cheerleaders, but little else.

We received some interesting input regarding this week's topic. Mike in Ohio writes "ever had an english muffin pizza? If you compare it to real pizza, it stinks. If you think of it as a melted cheese and sauce snack, it's pretty good. Avoid the obvious NFL comparisons and the XFL makes a pretty good snack". Sounds logical, I guess.

Let's get back to the cheerleaders. Bob in Virginia laments: "telling my wife I'm watching the XFL for the football, not the cheerleaders, is like trying to convince her that I read Playboy for the articles. It's particularly distressing to her when I run to the 'fridge during the play and hightail it back to the couch to catch the sideline activities". Ouch.

How much are they paying Dick Butkis to do those XFL commercials? Whatever it is, the NFL Hall of Fame Committee should take up a collection to get him to stop.

Why is the Governor of Minnesota doing play by play? The Body is not in the entertainment business anymore. He should be worrying about governing the state of Minnesota instead of trying to figure out what the heck "He Hate Me" means. Jesse, give the mike to Dennis Miller - if NBC lets him use the same language he uses in his HBO show, then we'll have a real Vince McMahon production.

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