Michael Caine, a British officer and ex-soccer star, organizes the Allied
squad and recruits Stallone (an American football player) to play in goal
and Pele to do what Pele does best.
The Allies have no
chance of winning the match and everybody knows it – even Caine.
So the prisoners concoct an elaborate escape plan to take place at halftime
of the event. They tediously arrange their mid-match departure down to
the smallest detail.
At the intermission,
just as the players were readying themselves for the daring escape, somebody
came up with the sparkling revelation that they can beat those Nazi bastards.
The rest of the team agreed, they aborted the escape and headed back on
to the field.
That soccer match
became the most important thing in the lives of those prisoners. More
important than their freedom, more important than their personal welfare.
If you've been keeping
up with the World Cup action, that scenario may sound eerily familiar.
The United States aside, the world is fanatical about soccer – excuse
me - football. I'm not talking face-paint and big foam finger fanatical,
I mean life and death fanatical.
Two people died in
Moscow after a riot broke out during Russia's 1-0 loss to Japan.
A South Korean man,
covered with paint thinner, lit himself on fire. He wanted to die and
become his team's spiritual twelfth man. (Makes setting a stadium seat
ablaze seem so insignificant, doesn't it?)
At the moment South
Korea scored in its match with Italy, a spectator (in his twenties) dropped
dead of a heart attack. And that goal only tied the match! In an unrelated
incident, a man in Calcutta – mesmerized by the action in the USA-Mexico
game – slipped off a platform and was struck by an oncoming train.
A guy in Bangkok killed
his wife over control of the television remote. She wanted to watch a
Soap Opera – during the World Cup!
The cumulative absurdity
of these events would be amusing if they weren't so individually tragic.
When the World Cup
was last played on U.S. soil in 1994, the American team beat a heavily
favored Columbia squad 2-1 thanks in large part to Columbian defender
Andres Escobar kicking the ball into his own goal.
American sports history
is filled with 'goats'. Men whose on-field flops were both legendary and
villainous (depending on what team you root for).
Bill Buckner is a
hated man in Boston for letting a routine ground ball roll between his
legs causing the Sox to lose the World Series.
Scott Norwood's last
second, game winning field goal attempt in Super Bowl XXV sailed six inches
wide of the right upright. Norwood is still not well received in the Buffalo
area.
But Buckner and Norwood
are still alive.
Ten days after the
U.S. victory in 1994, Andres Escobar was killed in Medellin, Columbia.
Shot twelve times by a soccer fan.
No soccer match is
complete without a heavy dose of hooliganism, rioting and bloodshed.
If soccer isn't as
big in this country as some would like. If the world scoffs at the level
of American competition. If the game remains a lesser-known niche sport.
Maybe it's for good reason.
Maybe American sportsfans
just don't have the stomach for making such a life and death commitment
to - a game.
Every four years,
when the World Cup rolls around, the death toll rises. I think it's obvious
that we'd rather stick to tossing the occasional snowball or plastic beer
bottle. And here in America "Kill the Umpire" is just an expression.
I will be rooting
hard for our boys in the quarterfinals. Any time I get to shout U-S-A,
U-S-A at a sporting event, I'm there. And if a group of undernourished
Prisoners of War can beat the best that Germany has to offer (oops I gave
away the ending), so can our American World Cup team.
I'll have to catch
the match on tape-delay, though, because there's no way I'm getting up
in the middle of the night. After all, it's just a soccer game –
isn't it?
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